With an aptitude for science and a love of people and travel, a Degree in Nutrition took me to Papua New Guinea in the South Pacific to live and work with the locals. Observing a traditional culture, largely uncluttered by our modern ways, allowed me to see that nature's plan is for men and women to be different, to create balance.

Papua New Guinea is also the place where I started to sail and owned my first boat. From the very beginning I had the inkling that nature's plan for balance would also be true on a boat. 'Equal and opposing forces; for every action there must be a reaction.' But I also learned very early on that not all sailors pay attention to life's lessons. While sailing on a friend's boat, with me at the helm, he asked me to alter my course. By the law's of nature I thought I should have to do something with the sails but I was too novice to know what. His reply to my question was: "Are we still moving? If we are, then don't worry about it."

Shortly after returning home to Canada, I learned how our culture treats the difference between men and women on boats. My fiancé and I were looking to buy a sailboat to live-aboard. I was working; he was not. Thus, he prowled the docks and found the 'perfect' boat. Since I was the one paying for the mortgage, and I was the one with the down payment, I was the one that signed on the dotted line and was the official owner of the boat. The broker knew this. Yet during the sea trials you would have thought I didn't exist, especially when it came to practicing docking!

Our boating relationship went downhill from there. He was the captain, I was the crew, even though I owned the boat and we had approximately the same amount of experience. But since he didn't really know what he was doing he would get anxious and yell. Both our sailing and life relationships were not in balance and thus did not last long.

After our divorce, I continued sailing in the manner I was taught from my male role models--just get out there and do it. But the crunch feeling in the pit of my stomach was so uncomfortable I had to come up with a better way. I needed to honor and value the process that worked best for me. When I did, I was able to better feel and understand what worked best for the boat. We were both then in balance.

There were only two headsails^* for the boat, large and small. My ex-husband did not like the small one since he could not get it to set properly. Not understanding, I followed his example. But when the wind came up, in order to compensate for the large headsail, I double reefed^* the mainsail. I almost sold the boat a couple of times because it was just too hard to handle. Then I learned to listen to the boat. The sails were out of balance and, of course, the forces were overpowering. When I balanced all the energies on the boat, mine and hers, we sailed effortlessly together even in heavy weather.

It was obvious, since there are so few female skippers, that I was not the only woman experiencing the imbalance and that crunch feeling. While searching for a career change that was a true expression of myself, I realized that teaching women sailing and self-awareness would be the perfect marriage of all that I loved to do in life. I knew that if I could go from not believing I could take the boat away from the dock to single-handing, other woman could too. My personal experience, coupled with my awareness of the inner workings of the mind and the boat, and my ability to clearly explain those ideas, especially to woman, made a Sailing and Self-Awareness School for Women, and this book, Sailing in Balance, a natural progression.

Many women tend to want to understand why, see the big picture, know the small details, yet have them explained in a way that relates to their reality. Time to process is critical. Sailing is learned as a process rather than just jump in and do it. The process I used to teach sailing to women starts with awareness of ourselves and the inside of the boat, then analyzes our external environment before learning to handle the boat under power. All this before even thinking of the sails. Each step gives a new level of understanding and comfort, creating confidence in reasonably-sized steps along the way.

Sailing in Balance: A Boat and Sail Handling Manual for Women and Their Shipmates started as notes made for my clients, written in pieces along the way, though following the same process used for teaching. The more I wrote, the more my clients wanted written; they wanted every word that I said recorded so they could refer back to the information time and time again. Male partners commented that they valued both the information provided and the insight into what their partners needed to feel confident on the boat. Over time this simple manual for my clients grew to be a book in its own right.

From the very beginnings of my Sailing and Self-Awareness School for Women, I knew I must pass on this information to many more women than I could ever possibly teach on my own. Thus, Sailing in Balance: A Boat and Sail Handling Manual for Women and Their Shipmates was meant to be.

DEFINITION OF NEW TERMS USED IN THIS CHAPTER:

^*Headsail - Forward sail that attaches to the wire, or head stay, that runs from the top of the mast to the bow (forward, pointed end of the boat.) Also called a genoa, jib, or foresail.