A BUCKET FULL OF GREMLINS

Not many instructors at sailing schools begin their course by directing students to leave their gremlins in a bucket on the dock. Then again, not many instructors have students who claim a sailing course not only improved their skills, but changed their entire lives.

"I will never forget that first evening," says Vicki Schoonbeek. "When everyone was onboard, Tricia had us sit in the cockpit. To my astonishment, we were to hold hands, close our eyes, and meditate as Tricia Birdsell, owner of this Sailing and Self-Awareness School for Women, talked us through leaving all our worries and thoughts of home in a bucket on the dock. At first I thought it was kind of hokey. But I had paid the money, so I figured I might as well get into it. And it worked! Since then I've used this method to clear my brain of garbage on many occasions."

Tricia is celebrating the tenth anniversary of her sailing school for women in Nanaimo, British Columbia. Tricia teaches more than sailing skills; she teaches self-awareness. In the beginning people were skeptical. Ten years later, people realize her philosophy works and that women can be good skippers and competent crew.

Tricia believes confidence is the key. Women can have years of experience, but if they don't have confidence, they hold back. So each day of the course begins with a calming meditation to help everyone relax, forget about home, and concentrate on learning.

The bucket is about focusing on the present, getting rid of gremlins that destroy belief in oneself. Gremlins -- those little voices that fill our mind as we approach the dock, telling us we are going to hit it and make a fool of ourselves. Gremlins asking us who we think we are, telling us we can't possibly do this. Defining negative thoughts as gremlins and banning them to a bucket on the dock is a powerful technique for dealing with fears.

Tricia stresses that belief must come from within. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. She openly addresses the differences between male and female ways of approaching sailing. Students learn it is okay for women to operate differently than men. It doesn't mean they are weaker or less skilled, just different.

Kim Bushnell wasn't exactly inexperienced when she signed up for the course. She grew up on a 32' Ferro cement cutter rigged sailboat, spent seven years sailing around the world with her parents, then sailed round-trip from California to New Zealand with her husband and nine-month-old daughter. With all that under her safety harness, what did she learn from this course?  "We don't have to sail the male way to be successful."

Most sailing schools get students out doing things right away. Tricia doesn't. Men like to learn by doing, figuring it out as they go along. Women like to learn by figuring it out, then doing. Her approach drives most men nuts, but women love it. The guys shake their heads, but it works for their partners, so they recognize there is something to it.

In fact, men don't usually have a problem passing the helm over to Tricia; they respect her knowledge and skill. When she teaches on a client's boat, she serves as a role model for both the man and woman. Both parties realize that if Trish can skipper the family boat, the first mate can too.

Back when she started her Sailing and Self-Awareness School for Women, people thought Tricia must be either a very tough woman or a male basher. Neither is true. She is gentle, but firm, knowledgeable, but not a know-it-all. Women relate to her because she understands how they think and feel. And men are not threatened because she doesn't try to beat them at their own game.

Pat Cymbala's husband told his sailing club, "I lost an acquiescent crew and gained an alternate skipper." Pat sailed with Bill for over ten years before her course. Well, "sailed" isn't quite right. She was proficient at cooking, cleaning, and jumping to the dock with a line. Though Bill showed her a lot, she never remembered. "I realized patience was indeed a virtue, and his was wearing thin," she says.

"I guess I learn better with the gals," she says. No question was stupid. It was okay to get emotional if you nearly crashed the boat. It was okay to cry and get hugs from sympathetic crew mates who were next in line for docking practice.

The course certainly helped Carol Burrows squelch her gremlins, that sailing was a jargon-filled, macho activity requiring skills she didn't have. Now friends describe Carol and her husband as boat crazy. Their house is full of cruising magazines and boat parts, and they dream of sailing to the Orient. It's not just dream; until then Carol, Leo, and their two children are setting sail for the Caribbean this fall.

Who knows what lies over the horizon for these women? Whatever it is, this course has given them the confidence and ability in themselves to take a look.

Reprinted by permission from 48 Degrees North Magazine, November 1998.